Day Nine Back: Thurs 26th Sep
Reflecting on Job: Chapters 18 -22
Today is day 4 of feeling stronger, of waking up in optimism rather than inadequacy.
As I read Job 18-22 today, my fixation is on maintenance. Maintenance of my soul and spirit. That my focus will always be on the Lord, and not on myself or others. I have begun to feel the first results of what God is doing in me. Right now, my greatest desire is no longer escape from my circumstances. Although admittedly, that would be amazing.
I now yearn to have MORE of Him. So many of my insecurities and fears have diminished. I don’t dare to say that they have completely vanished, but they are no longer as persistent or loom as threateningly as they did before.
How do I keep this? I want this centeredness and focus forever. Truly, if I can remain in this, it will change my life.
In chapters 18-22, we see the continuation of Jobs' dialogue with his friends. It’s easy to write every chapter off as a repetition of what came before. But if you really pay attention (reading a commentary alongside the chapters helps), you’ll find differences and unique messages within each chapter.
In short, Jobs' friends are really digging in now, calling him wicked, talking about what awaits the wicked, and how they do not prosper. Job cries out and says, even if he did wrong, God had already stripped him of everything. So why do they continue to hurt him? He makes a plea for his words to be recorded, that that would serve as a witness beyond his death. Job’s friends tell him that the wicked will suffer and that even their children will be forced to beg and live in poverty.
Job makes an incredible argument when he says in chapter 21 that the wicked prosper. He says that not only do they prosper, but their kids also flourish, and they are honored even in death. He says that they live such squeaky clean lives that they seem blameless, and people are fooled by the external circumstances of the evil person.
This is something that greatly resonates with me.
Pope Francis was in Singapore recently, and while I’m not a Catholic, I can see that a lot of what he says is very powerful. He said something along the lines of putting aside fear, being courageous to act, and to not be put down by the prospect of failure. Very often, good men are labeled as wicked or evil because their mistakes are in the open, because they dare to live free and publicly, because they dare to try.
I think this message strikes me in two ways. Firstly, to maintain this faith and devotion to God, I must act. I cannot simply study, pray and hide. I must share what he has given me and dare to be cast aside and judged by people. Secondly, I must only be concerned about being true to God. My service is only to Him.
In that way, the posture of my heart is guarded and stems from grace and truth, and not pride and revenge.
I spent my recent years in hiding. I was a broken and faithless man, like Jonah. I believe that soon, it will be time again to stand up and act.
Prayer:
Dear Lord, I can hear You calling me back to my post and my calling. Help me to fix my eyes on you as I begin again, and drown out the voices of those around me. I truly believe that freedom is found in purpose, and I want to pursue that with you. Help me with my fleeting thoughts of death as my mind wanders, and help me to move ahead with you.
